Pure Moan

Sex is free but they get you on the accessories…

Category: Entertainment (Page 1 of 3)

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Pamela Anderson Newsjacks Anthony Weiner to Talk About Porn

Recently, an unexpected duo wrote an op-ed in The Wall Street Journal of all places to decry porn as the death of civilization. Rabbi Shmuley Boteach and Pamela Anderson, ambassador of the sexy decorative person profession, collaborated on this missive and used Anthony Weiner as an example of a man destroyed by porn. Now, before I move on to agree with much of this piece, let me assault its newsjacking practices.

Anthony Weiner and his wife are separating this week because Weiner, who was exposed as a habitual sexter of strangers a few years ago, did not actually stop sending photos of his penis to strangers. As perpetual bringer of embarrassment to his family, Weiner is now out with the entire world. He was not undone because of a porn habit. He was undone because his incredible need for sexual validation was executed in a careless way bringing negative attention to everybody around him because it involved other non-discreet participants. If Anthony Weiner’s problem was porn, we wouldn’t hear about it as the consumption of porn is usually done in private. Sure, we’re all aware of that guy at work who got caught watching or downloading porn… But generally, most people do not get into career-ending trouble for porn. Weiner’s sexting habits are different than the issues Boteach and Anderson wanted to address in the WSJ piece and they should not have newsjacked Anthony Weiner to get their point across.

That being said. Yes, porn is the end of civilization!

I for one am glad to read Anderson’s thought on the subject. She is, after all, a veteran of the industry of seduction. Throughout her career she has shown up on time and participated in countless media that uses her sexuality, or rather, her immense appeal as a sexy person, to market everything, but not sex directly. Anderson also dated and married men who fall under the category of the sexually jaded. Rock stars who enjoy access to a lot of sexual partners tend to develop the exact same issues we see in obsessive porn consumers. Porn is simply the democratization of the consumption of weaponized female sexuality. Porn is like candy, it stimulates the brain but contains no nutrition. It works really well, until it stops working really well. Every person will respond to this stimulus differently.

It would be wonderful if porn contained useful information about the human body, about sex and sexuality or about women. But it doesn’t. This aspect of porn is most amazing. It’s such a huge body of work that avoids ever providing useful real world insight into human relationship or sexual techniques. But then again, a t-shirt that says “POWER” won’t make you powerful. And that’s the point. Porn is meant to turn the porn user into a perpetual porn user by way of emotionally separating them from their entourage. And it is this separation that Anderson and Boteach talk about in the piece. The world certainly doesn’t need yet another porn movie, especially one that is indistinguishable from the last, but there will always be porn. Porn will always be free and available to 10 year old boys on their phone. So how do we foster a generation of people who DGAF about porn?

I happen to be someone who grew up with porn. Back then it was movies about men having sex with women or women having sex with other women for the visual enjoyment of men. Porn still had a premise. Meaning there was a semblance of a plot which would explain why the pizza delivery guy was suddenly having sex with the housewife. Sex in porn seemed like it was tied to real life. This is no longer the case. When the pornographer realized that his audience feels guilty for watching so much porn, he changed the veneer of porn, titling it to cast a negative light on the female performers. And so the sexy housewife became a nasty slut. As time passed by, this theme became part of the content as well fueling a porn market where pornographers one-up each other requiring starlets to perform various party tricks. Did somebody specifically ask for prolapse porn?! Are we going to mention that this is not a good thing?

While I have a rather encyclopedic nerdy knowledge of porn, I found that porn’s ability to push my buttons stopped once I looked into how exploitative the industry is. Once you know how the porn industry is built on misery and misogyny, porn becomes very unattractive. Of course there are a lot of women who do very well in porn and use it as an educational platform. Nina Hartley and Annie Sprinkle come to mind. There is a subset of porn which is not like the rest. The rest, however produces tens of thousands of titles per year.

Worrying about porn is a bit vintage. Right now we are moving into new areas with porn. One of these areas is non-consensual porn. That is the exploitation of women who never signed up for it and find their photos leaked online or on revenge porn sites. The consumption of this material is problematic to a new degree but normalized because it is not as explicit as porn.

On the other side of the coin is late night dramas. These cable shows are bringing back the sex scene that fit into the plot. Thank you Jesus! Can we have more of those?

In the movie Don Juan, the main protagonist develops a relationship with an older woman who asks him, bewildered: “Haven’t you even masturbated without porn?”. This question comes as a surprise to the main character. And it was enlightening for me too. It was a reminder that because porn is so ubiquitous, a lot of men have never masturbated to their own fantasies. Rather, they have outsourced this formative aspect of their personality to pornographers… Having a rich fantasy life is a great way of figuring out who you are and what you want out of life. Consuming a lot of porn hinders this ability in regards to interpersonal relationships. And that is really sad.

Comprehensive sex education can do a lot to help young people grow up into confident adults who are less confused about sexuality. It always comes back to sex ed. And that is why I am writing a book. No, I am writing THE book on sex for the modern world. Support ‘The Fucking Manual’ on Patreon so you and get it before everyone else!

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Postcard from Over-the-Hill

A phrase that has been used by men to describe women that are no longer worth pursuing for sex. It’s an old trope continued by the media.

Men do not know, however, what happens to us women who have bravely walked up the mountain and are now Over-the-Hill. So I am going to spill the beans.

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On My Love/Hate Relationship With Security Stooges

So I just got back from a trip to Europe… And it reminded me of an experience I had when I was arrested because I was carrying a kidnapping plan… But it was a completely ludicrous one!

When traveling I often run into insecure machines and processes as well as security professionals who seem daft. All of the above make me feel afraid for my safety but the latter makes me cringe more noticeably. When I was last arrested at the border in October 2009 I was carrying a bunch of unusual items which could be misconstrued as product samples (neatly packages cock bondage kits with cheeky labels I give or sell during my cock bondage workshops/male objectification performances). In addition to a few other handcrafted bondage or BDSM-related articles unrelated to my trip I was also carrying complex textile art in mid-production. The contents of my craft nerd bag boggled my interrogators. What was of most interest to them was my old notebook into which I had been jotting ideas for two to three years. It contained a detailed kidnapping plan to obtain a secret molecule that could be used to fabricate a device shell that would make its content completely invisible to all x-Ray or detection devices. When you consider that law enforcement agencies enjoy having the monopoly on all subversive technology and being the only ones allowed to use excessive force on citizens who regard self-protection as futile, I totally understand their double take! The completed device described in my notebook was to be the first invisible cell phone. And you don’t want to get me started on the specs because that in itself is a whole ‘nother ball of crazy! What the patrol agents did not know is that this was a complex orchestrated BDSM experience tailor-created for someone specific. It was, in essence, an impossible mission that would have required the help of 20 people, a helicopter, a delivery truck, a fake caviar warehouse, tons of fake Russians, a boy scout and a fully functional On Star-like system (not unlike the one featured in War, Inc.) specifically made just for the occasion and complete with friendly Indian operator on the other end! This plan was interesting to ponder because I KNEW that every single piece could work. I also knew who would have fun helping me accomplish each part so I could use it to amuse would-be co-conspirators as well. It was, however, unreasonable to think that all these people would be available at the convenient time to contribute time and resources to a project with a budget of 0$. Human capital is great but it cannot accomplish everything. I hold my notes dear because they are the base of thousands of jokes, plots, art pieces, blog entries, games, practical jokes and so much more…

When I was questioned about my seemingly stalkerish proclivities (I was carrying a kidnapping plan, albeit a ludicrous one…) I simply answered matter-of-factly and without shame so I could fully appreciate if the sexist questions I was being asked were strategic or came from a place of fear and suspicion. For instance, I had a beautiful design featuring a Rock’n’Roll flaming heart and the name Jack. I told the lady agents that this was planned for the back of a jeans jacket I wanted to build for my girlfriend Nancy who performed as a man in a Drag King band we founded together. However in the process she transitioned to be and live as a man and was no longer a Drag King but rather getting recognition as a motherfucking awesome gender fucking performer. I think that it was this answer that clued them into the fact that I am a CREATIVE person… As time moved on one of the two interrogators simply giddily asked me specific questions about my crafts and kept one of my business cards while the other one was off somewhere photocopying my notebook page by page or looking me up on the Interwebz. All these nerdy lists of things to do and stuff to buy at the supermarket are now somewhere in a U.S. Homeland security database bogging down research on actual threats. Here is what I did not have in my bag. I did not have prescription pills (considering Americans are the most medicated people in the world, this should identify me as ‘abnewnormal’ but not being medicated rings as safe on the border patrol’s list). I did not have any piece of clothing or underwear that could be misconstrued as sexy by anyone who lives in the Western hemisphere. You see, many Montreal ladies and gentlemen will find that there is lots of money to be made in New York City, and with the immense crackdown on sex workers in NYC, it seems the border patrol is lending a hand by keeping an eye on migrant sex workers. Two months earlier, on my way to a BDSM conference, I had done a lot of wishful packing and passed the border by car with an enormous amount of rope, strap-ons and various other sex toys. But his time, other than a cute but ineffective flogger upcycled from t-shirts I had brought to show a friend that evening, I did not have anything to add spice in the bedroom in my bag! Still, I was shamed for saying that I was on my way to New York to spend time with a guy I had met on the Internet. In my mind, I am absolutely sure that all of the men who have ever traveled to Canada to spend time with me (however we have met) were given a high five by the border patrol and not shamed for their plans. After sighing and admitting that I was ill-equipped to carry out any nefarious deeds, the border guards let me get back on the bus and I continued my journey to New York City.

There I spent the weekend with a well regarded brilliant psychologist. By brilliant, I mean I have read his stuff, shared it with friends and it is really good! My goal was to help him take it to the next level and this trip was going to be step 1 of that process. Personally getting along with him was rather low on the priority list (i.e. my nerdy packing strategy.) In the process, I also learned that he was one year into an acrimonious divorce, had (understandably) sad children, and, his derelict surroundings indicated to me that he was most likely deeply depressed and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. It wasn’t as pleasant as it was supposed to be and I walked away not really able to explain why politely or nicely. I left New York on Sunday night arriving exactly where I left off on Friday, the office, at 9am Monday! He has threatened to sue me twice, despite the fact that we never got around to drafting a precise co-venture deal, and I remain deftly afraid of him because people in his highly-connected position of authority have pull to simply screw up other people’s plans for the heck of it. I am hoping he will find another hobby naturally and forget I ever existed without me having to explain what I wrote above to someone who is professionally vested in not facing THAT truth.

When I travel, I understand that I put myself in a dangerous position but the dangers have changed. In the world we live in, I am much more afraid of being brutalized or wrongfully arrested and incarcerated by the police or some other kind of security stooge with arresting power that being abducted off the street. In the U.S. it is more likely that I would be killed by a police officer than by a miscreant I know or not. My invisible dressing style has always been a great way to fool everyone into not seeing me and in 9 years, I will be fifty, which means I likely will not have to make much of an effort to be completely invisible. Along my journey I have to trust that the security personnel is able to recognize that I am a creative weirdo hacker artist and not a person who poses a threat to anyone’s physical safety… In most other cases I feel just fine and dandy in the company of strangers in a strange town or in even in a massive BDSM convention.

But I continue to enjoy observing security personnel work. As a hacker and someone who does a bit of Info Sec work, I know that it is the human link that often fails a security system. From overstretched tired (or bad) coders to ‘just this once’ security bypasses, humans are the source of most flaws in security systems we depend on. I worry about the level of intellect of the people who are driven to police, investigative and security work. After all, I live in Montreal, home of police officers who violently tackle frail girls who flash peace signs during a protest or pepper spray people who insult them. That being said, my spouse has been incrusted into the physical field of security work for twenty years so I have someone to voice my fears and concerns with on a regular basis. Outside of the recent scandalous behavior of our local police force during the student protests of the last 6 months, we both witness totally inoffensive people falling under police scrutiny for dubious reasons all the time. We often joke about how long we could both be detained for dubious reasons before the authorities realize we are just pacifist autistic nerds exploring creative activism experiences. Because security personnel is HIGHLY prejudiced against men and tends to not even see women past middle age, I would have zero chance of winning this contest because I would be out first!!! But then again… the fact that security personnel IS highly prejudiced is the problem…

Perhaps, before my next trip to the ever so paranoid United States, I will create a large map of a diabolical and complex technological plan to rule all The Machines while I sweep away Florence to a romantic village in Normandy. I can carry this large workflow with me and see what the next arbitrator of evil I am forced to endure makes of it.

Courtney Stodden: I have a theory and I really hope it is true

Courtney Stodden is a teenage dominatrix who is currently punking the world with her bimbo experiment. For months when I saw Courtney and Doug on The Ridiculist I usually felt that she would probably wake up at 24 and be completely embarrassed by the past 8 years (as young adults often do…) But now I have changed my theory and it makes much more sense to me; or at least it gives more hope for humanity.

When I was Courtney’s age I fantasized that I was exactly the same person I have become today. In my fantasies I had 100% control over my life, did many spur of the moment projects, was in a plural marriage with 3 awesome men who got along great and dated a lot of really creative people. This is what I fantasized about constantly from about 12 until my early 20’s when I was able to do concrete things to realize my fantasies. It is therefore entirely believable to me that Courtney’s current phase could be a ploy to realize a very specific socio-sexual fantasy.

So far she has put on an award-worthy bimbo show, lured in a z-list celebrity husband who lives to clean up after her, shopped a lucrative reality tv show and has Dr. Drew on speed dial. Dr. Drew’s secret theory seems to be that Courtney will wind up on his ‘Celebrity Rehab’ program before she is even 21 but I am holding out for my own prize.

My theory is that after only a few years of punking the media with her bimbo experiment, creepy wedding and subsequent shower of inappropriate Facebook pictures, Courtney will tell us it was all a joke/performance to distract us and come out with a tell all book about the vapid creepy Hollywood bubble she now inhabits.

‘Cuz that would be funny and I would say ‘Bravo!’ and buy that book…

Entertainment in the Media now Refers Exclusively to the Private Parts or Sex Lives of Celebrities

And to illustrate my point, I will simply share with you a screen cap of an Entertainment page on The Huffington Post.

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