It appears there is a worldwide shortage of blow jobs. Most guys are perfectly content with feeling they sure don’t get enough blow jobs and keeping it to themselves. But there is a small portion of men who are extremely vocal and angry that they are not being provided with the blow jobs they sincerely feel they are owed.

But do these blow jobs even existed to begin with?

For decades I have had fun referring to certain men as blow-job worthy. Yet, I spend no time giving these special people blow jobs. It is largely a statement of personal quality that is meant to elicit laughter on the part of the recipient. It is also known that good people assemble naturally to provide each other with great sex so I have never had to mind the blow job economy much.

However, today, we are seeing the result of a system that promises all manners of sexual experiences as a product. The always-on aspect of marketing by seduction and pornography creates a downward spiral of self worth and fear of inadequacy in boys starting at age 10 (or the year boys get access to a cell phone these days). Yet there is nothing real, normal or educational about life or women in the entire library of sex co-opted for profits. But because men have been empowered somehow to lash out at any random woman, our environment has become populated by gross and offensive toddlers having a severe tantrum. It is constant and visible enough to be in our face every single day. We women are now gagging violently at all of this and writing about it. Apparently we are doing so BEFORE ‘guys who are not like that’ have realized how polluted our co-ed social environment really is and they are bewildered too.

All men are firmly represented by the douchbags who skip to the front of the line, and are in our face all the time. We are not stupid, we know we need to pass through the crust of douchebags to get to the good part. However, the crust of douchebags has become just too think and dangerous to pry through these days and that creates a drastic downturn for everybody in the blow job economy.

We women have never been a powerful part of this immense problem because, while you were being sold a load of crap about ‘girls’ and false life aspirations by pornographers and marketers of high-margin low-value goods, we were out doing other stuff and probably excelling at something new. We have emerged empowered, employed and independent. Men who focus their sexual frustrations onto women peers because decorative professional ladies seduced them out of all their attention and money growing up are everywhere. In fact it is astonishing the bandwidth and velocity of sexist messages in today’s world and it has robbed their primary consumer, young men, of their grasp on sexual reality and self-worth. The immense amount of garbage fed to young men in the past 15 years has greatly diminished women’s access to good sex partners. And the misogyny is so rampant in all matters of media that it just kills the mood.

I was very busy having sex before the Internet was invented. It was also the beginning of sex being co-opted and re-branded as a paid product rather than a free experience. It was around 1993 that I figured life online and pornography would completely change the nature of humanity. And I began to watch it happen in real-time. At the time I did not really consider the ‘always on’ and instant self-indulging aspect of online communications that emerged ten years later. So this profound change that I was expecting to be quiet, secret and private is being live-cast and demonstrated in a very public (and gross) way.

But what is this grotesque masculinity dysmorphia? We tend to fail to name these strange coping mechanisms that men develop because of the restrictive nature of masculinity. Maybe male privilege is not the right word for someone who hasn’t face any significant and formative burden in life and therefore doesn’t know any better. Maybe misogynist is not the right word for a sheltered guy who is, in reality, frightened of women who have independent thoughts and plans. Just like homophobia may not be the right word for someone who is not specifically afraid of gays and lesbians, just doesn’t even understand the concepts of gender or sexual orientation or where he fits in society.