Courtney Stodden is a teenage dominatrix who is currently punking the world with her bimbo experiment. For months when I saw Courtney and Doug on The Ridiculist I usually felt that she would probably wake up at 24 and be completely embarrassed by the past 8 years (as young adults often do…) But now I have changed my theory and it makes much more sense to me; or at least it gives more hope for humanity.

When I was Courtney’s age I fantasized that I was exactly the same person I have become today. In my fantasies I had 100% control over my life, did many spur of the moment projects, was in a plural marriage with 3 awesome men who got along great and dated a lot of really creative people. This is what I fantasized about constantly from about 12 until my early 20’s when I was able to do concrete things to realize my fantasies. It is therefore entirely believable to me that Courtney’s current phase could be a ploy to realize a very specific socio-sexual fantasy.

So far she has put on an award-worthy bimbo show, lured in a z-list celebrity husband who lives to clean up after her, shopped a lucrative reality tv show and has Dr. Drew on speed dial. Dr. Drew’s secret theory seems to be that Courtney will wind up on his ‘Celebrity Rehab’ program before she is even 21 but I am holding out for my own prize.

My theory is that after only a few years of punking the media with her bimbo experiment, creepy wedding and subsequent shower of inappropriate Facebook pictures, Courtney will tell us it was all a joke/performance to distract us and come out with a tell all book about the vapid creepy Hollywood bubble she now inhabits.

‘Cuz that would be funny and I would say ‘Bravo!’ and buy that book…