I’m all about being transparent but sometimes I think my stalkers are creepy and it affects my future relationships.

A few months ago, I got into a quasi-tiff with a guy who once asked me on a date. When I got his request and I was all like ‘Argh, please no…” and “Wow, it’s THAT guy!” in the same moment. You see, he has root. And you know what happens when a guy has root?! Well, if history is an indication, he will put a capture on my internet service to see what I do, read my e-mails, install a key logger and even record my phone calls. I am not kidding, these are all specific things that four (4!) past Sys Admins have done to spy on me. I like Sys Admins/ Sys Engineer type but God forbid if I say “Hi!” to one, it starts. You’d think they NEVER have any conversations with women. So I try not to date someone who has root on a system I use (not that this policy prevents losers who’ve never had the guts to say hi to me from spying on me anyway.)

I thought this awkward moment, which ended in a promise, was going to be the last I hear from him. But now we have to work on something together. For some reason he doesn’t want to delegate which baffles me… I DO want to work with him… but I’ve been burned and it makes me super jittery.

Now this is going to be really creepy but I just want you guys to understand that us girls may have a history of having to deal with creepy stalkers going back DECADES. I am not talking about the curious to see what you are up to‘s, and just have to read your OKCupid profile EVERY day kind of thing… I’m talking inexplicable weird fucked up stuff adults do when they should know better.

When I was twelve (12), I was in the Jeanettes (Girl Scouts.) At the end of the year we put on a show for the parents and some brilliant soul thought that it would be great for me to sing ‘Call Girl‘ by Nanette Workman. So, despite the fact that I didn’t really know or care what a call girl was (I’m French!),  I put on a mini skirt and heels and lip-synched to Call Girl. Now this is not even the creepy part. The guy who was video taping the show, recorded the whole performance from the waist down. When we watched the video later on, everybody laughed and I was humiliated. I hope that beta tape has disintegrated with time. I think it is crappy to grow up KNOWING you are the masturbatory fantasy of creepy old guys. I mean some teens have it WAY worse then I had it, but sheesh. As a lifelong caretaker of children and teens, I just don’t get people and parents sometimes. I think I am more sensitive to issues of appropriateness because I am a pervert.