I fell asleep at 9:30 last night. And I actually slept well. I woke up at 4am started a batch of bread and will gladly wake up again when the whole house smells yummy 🙂

I’ve completed the little show I put on for Mr. M this week (writing him a few short emails a day.) The last one I put lots of effort in though. It’s quite ‘antique’ actually, sending one-way correspondence without any expectations of a conversation. I think that I prefer to do that because I have reset my life to a pace more akin to pre-consumerist times. I contemplate and think a lot. My life is in no way related to or regulated by influencers such as news, gossip, marketing or even fashion. Sometimes I get a glimpse of broadcast TV and weep a little when I see their ‘chihuahua fashion shows’ segments. Recently I abandoned most TV shows but continue to watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. With that and my trusty weekly Time magazine, I think I have enough to keep me in the know without dumbing me down.

I’ve always been more of a doer than a learner. I’ll bake something 5 times and make it to my liking rather than research 5 different recipes to follow. It’s the same thing with writing. I have noticed that all this times I spend on writing is giving me back great enjoyment whether in the process or in the feedback.

So this week I blogged and put a lot of effort into one last e-mail to Mr. M. Last time that I put so much effort (and emotion) into an e-mail to him I got a well crafted rejection. I do not fear rejection per say, I mean at the time I was delighted that he was being decisive and direct. He was being preemptive which is frustrating on so many levels.

So in my last e-mail to Mr. M., I formulated an hypothesis on why he ‘handles me’ the way he does. I thought I’d get all that out of the way. It will either bomb magnificently or confirm that I understand him. Granted it could also do both. But I have no idea what is going to happen next.