I had the most pleasant and fun dinner with my “General” last Friday. We have a very tight knit relationship however it is mostly conducted through daily phone and MSN and we rarely make actual plans to be together in person. I should never miss an opportunity to have lunch with him. I am so mad at myself for canceling out on him a few times in the past months.

I recently read a comment from someone who said I had not yet found my Knight in Shining Armor. I do not think I am looking for that though it is true I push a high standard with my little Manhood article (that article written for teens.) My closest friends and lovers, who are all grown adults, are beautifully imperfect but very self-aware, real and unfiltered. I like that because I am un-phased by the truth of human nature. I also dig tough guys. Tough is a state of mind. If I were to encounter a Knight in Shining Armor I would probably identify him as a poseur and keep walking.

Give me a Knight in a muddy armor with a gaping head wound and an arrow sticking out of his arm who, despite the fact that his horse is dead, walks back to my castle in a snow storm carrying the severed head of my enemy… And I’ll tap that.

The previous scenario is not a joke (except the severed head part.) I know men who just do stuff like that because that is who they are. They will take the long road of walking for a day to get somewhere because it is in itself an experience. It’s not just about being tough it’s about having a close relationship with their environment and cutting out the “modernity” middleman. That’s what happens when you walk for days, hunt/fish your own food and sleep in a ditch. This used to be commonplace for us humans until not too long ago. All these activities have been maligned as unsophisticated for decades. I personally feel sophistication comes from being happy with little and from being able to survive and enjoy a stay all by your lonesome in a shack without any modern conveniences. This is more of a monk’s lifestyle than a prisoner’s punishment. It’s also a character thing not a body-related thing. In fact the person whom I most admire for being the embodiment of this character has been completely paralyzed since birth. He is a genius and has been constant in his positive spirit for the 15+ years I have known him. I am not saying I could be that “sophisticated” but I work on it. I am finally ready to go along and explore the world around me in a less comfortable manner. Today I am without chronic pain and am probably the closest I have been to my healthy weight in 12 years. Next week, I will have my coureur des bois with me so we can explore the immense park next to my home (And I will have him rake the grounds, empty the gutters, trim all that garden stuff, etc.) I often wonder what it would take to actually wear him down and he is now in his fifties!?! He says he is going to bike to my place… If he takes “our street” all the way to Montreal it is 200 miles. We both grew up on the oldest ancestral road in North America in the exact spot where the Seigneur built his home (c.1637) (He was busted as a teen for breaking and entering that manor just before it was torn down to build the ugly-ass apartments where I spent a lot of my childhood.) I am encouraging him to do it by car though but I know my words are only suggestions…

There’s still the issues that will come up with my change in lifestyle and philosophy over the past 4-5 years. He is and will always be Titus Pullo and I am more Atia of the Julii. I am not the 18 year old girl he met 19 years ago LOL

After I agreed to spend some time with him I started to remember all the quirky annoying things he does like sleeping while holding on to me super tightly the whole night. But he tends to do things to excess. He knows and admits to this freely. I have to come up with more stuff to keep him busy…