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Month: January 2009 Page 1 of 2

That Flat-Faced Blue-Eyed British Guy

Was that a crazy plan? Bringing over dinner to my favorite overworked coder!? It didn’t actually work in so much that I got what I wanted over the phone without having to spring for food LOLz But I didn’t get a beard cuddle though 🙁 I got interrogated by TheBaku even more specifically this time. He better be careful because I will gladly answer ANY questions he asks and it just seems to make him more bewildered about me. But that is fine. He’s the guy I have a crush on so he can ask any question he wants about my relationships and intentions towards any bumblebee that buzzes around me. But he doesn’t ask about my intentions towards him which is kind of funny. Though he has spies to tell him all about that I think. But my intent to drop over with some food was just that because I had dinner plans.

Tonight I had dinner with Lloyd Jr. I found him without motherly intervention and he replied immediately. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to schedule something until today. I was expectinghim not to care too much about getting together but he’s always been the one to ask or try to get a hold of me. I realized yesterday morning that he is the first person from the ‘legacy life’ who is going to get the unedited news. By legacy life I mean all these people from my hometown, family, school and work from years ago that have no insight into my life other than as a geeky mom. Lloyd Jr. and I haven’t spoken in 5 years. In fact the last time I ran into him I was on my way to the opera with A., my best gay. It was a few weeks before A. talked me into gay-crowding the fetish party at Cream. We went with his bf and 3 gay friends. And then the rest is history!

OMG!1! He’s still so friggin’ cute. He looks like a man now (wider!) We had the most fascinating of conversations blowing the lid on so many things we were never supposed to tell each other. I am now scandalized about the secret life of Lloyd Jr. It’s like I know him but I don’t because we both feel that our time together was hindered by going through tough crap and not yet knowing who we were (being under 20.) I told him about Mr. M. and he noted the similarity telling me to go to London where he said he had run into many twins of his LOL He says he is now open to ‘new things’. Guys should never tell me THAT hahaha. I’ll most likely nag him to come to a workshop in March, probably the BDSM relationship one, that will shed some light on the lifestyle for him. He’s still an exigent top control freak, always has been, always will be! I want him in my life and I told him. He’s a stickler for follow through and HE follows through having driven our getting together since I wrote to him a few weeks back. Oh and that thing I wrote that I wanted to do with him (it’s a secret), well HE brought it up first so we’ll see where that goes.

Sex is Free… but they get you on the accessories!

CNN covers the Porn Industry’s request for a 5 Billion dolalr bail-out. Well, the name of this blog illustrates my opinion on this so I need not go into details!

So I was watching teen porn last night…

…and by teen porn I mean ‘Skins‘. Remind me never to be left in the UK un-chaperoned as 16 year olds over there would be a very bad influence on me. And I am so getting crooked bangs like Emily!

I recently found my twin on FetLife. If and when we get together, I want to be the good twin 🙂

I CANNOT wait to see what trouble Pandora will get herself into.

Oh, and the adults… don’t get me started on those teenagers!

The Facts of Life is Like a Box of Chocolates

The guys who asked me last week if I love him, after asking me to move in with him, gave me a huge box of Lindt chocolates yesterday. He then said as he dropped me off at my place: “When you eat your chocolates you should eat fruits at the same time so the ascorbate inhibits the oxidization of [noise….I flunked chemistry…noise] else the sugar causes aging.” Or something to that effect. And I just kissed him goodnight.

I swear he doesn’t have any romantic intentions towards me and he’s still blabbing on about how he’s going to fix me up with his buddy Ben, the ubergeek and inventor. I’m all like, sure, if he really is on the verge of becoming a trillionaire with his latest invention, he can buy me a local franchise of the ‘Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation’. The prospect of meeting someone handpicked by Mr. P is incredibly intriguing because he notices important personality traits about people and this ability has been very insightful. He is supposed to be a good matchmaker. Often he will start phrases with: “Well it’s because you are…” or “Well it’s because you do…” which is unheard of for me. Most people are too intimidated by me to dare give me any useful insight into how I am, or at least how I am with them, which would help me improve the relationship.

After my hamburger chat with his 4th neighbor I went to visit Mr. P’s house. I have to see if, in fact, it would make a nice place for me to squat, given that I foresee needing money to travel more in the next year (and therefore not being there much.) Mr. P and I also discussed this week being married on Thursdays. Actually, I think Tuesdays would be much better for me. Okay so I need to think this through a bit more.

The work involved in ridding his house of superfluous scientific equipment is immense! But then again he doesn’t necessarily want to get rid of it either because he foresees needing it in the future for some project or other. The problem is that I am the same way, it’s just my collections of art & craft material is neatly sorted and mostly out of the way! I am not sure there is enough room in his house for me and my posse. I picked up a bag of white pellets in the kitchen and said: “Tapioca!” to which he replied: “Noooo, it’s sodium silicate!” as if it is normal for anyone to have desiccant in a bag next to radioactive Polonium where I would have a neatly assembled array of spices and condiments. Look it up, Polonium is not a Spanish chicken spice mix. Also, I do not find random stacking, a predominantly male aesthetic movement, pleasing to the eye. I have to mention here that he does have a few girlfriends and he does get laid. The nerdy is just more entertaining to me. My faux-James May set up his alarm system as we left his house and I asked: “Why? Are you afraid people will break into your house to put their stuff there?!”

I’m watching UFC this morning. That’s ultimate fighting cats. They are so cute. They fight and roll around and have not yet figured out that they could simply just cuddle and kiss. The little girl is still winning every time but my fat tabby is no longer stressed out and he just goes with the flow.

I woke up at 7:30 but I waited an hour before waking up CJO. He had me wake him up on MLK day as well. I would do it everyday but I only set my alarm when my daughter is with me. CJO is in a good mood. Last Tuesday, I had given him a warning because he had been complaining a lot in the past week. I do not like whiny babies. It’s not my fault he can’t find his tools to fix his wiring. And also he should not constantly whine that he needs to get himself a slave to clean his house and suck his dick he should just work on finding one. I mean if I had contacts around where he lives I WOULD call someone to deliver cooked food to his house and if he liked her he could let her inside to clean his house and suck his dick. But I don’t have such wonderful girlfriends around there. But he did tell me yesterday that he may have found someone even though she is not that available. He said: “And she is safe.” to which I replied: “Safe as in, no mental disorders?!” He said: “No. Safe as in she is no threat to you.” After which he proceeded to explain to me how no outside influence can change what we have. How adorable is he?!

CJO has been in a better mood (and smiling widely which I love) so we have opened up the communication channel when it comes to sex and BDSM. This is something that has to be done! In 2 months I will spend 9 whole days with him! I’ve packed up those days full of classes, networking luncheons and dinners and trips to his favorite Martial Arts schools but I will still have to get along with him. I already have an insight into the overworked, underfed and cranky Man but that will be quite the test LOL. It’s a week of doing what he loves (he makes me feel included in that statement ahem…)

He’s going to teach a class on ‘Erotic Humiliation’ in March and that is a fun Pandora’s box to open. Most of what I write tends to deal with this topic, inadvertently, in a similar way that it is touched on in The Secretary. And yes CJO made fun of me for being very situational in the way I fantasize. I really find it more interesting to think about conversations or situations that could lead to sex than outright sex.

I have really fun and fascinating people in my life, I am so lucky !

Surreal Saturday: Part II

Something in my modem went awry! Being offline for 24 hours was not pleasant!

I had mentioned somewhere that I’m heterosexual because all the women I know and am attracted to are transitioning to become men one after the other. This kind of implies that they were men all along and perhaps I recognized that subconsciously as we met. But I wouldn’t want to say I have special FtM detection powers or anything!?! I found out that yet another one is going to follow suit and it’s still under wraps. It was fun that we were together this weekend and there were NO OTHERS from our usual crowd so we got to hang out an cuddle for a quite a while. It was the first time in three years we got to do that. Her friends are totally cool as well. Here’s the best lesson on friendship I can pass along. Stick to friends who are absolute gems. They may not be very available compared to total losers but they will invariably attract ONLY people who are gems as well and then it gets really interesting really fast!

I think my surroundings have been loser-free for almost a decade (other than the obligatory family assholes I’ve had to put up with.) Moving to Montreal was my wake-up call to clean up my life. Also, throwing myself into a mosh pit of queer-girl fabulousness (via the Unholy Army) was the best way to learn how to develop awesome friendships with women. I have to keep working at it because well, like I said before they are transitioning into men left and right or moving away! I am still terrified of vanilla girls, espescially their habit of judging me for my kinky inclinations. Shrug…

Speaking of vanilla girls… I remember telling Mr. M on U.S. Thanksgiving that I was hoping Yoshi getting a job at The Coffee Shop would let him meet new girls to keep him busy and ease our separation. Well he did exactly that! And she is so adorable and I am ever so proud of Yoshi AND he is such a Dom LOL Obviously there is more to this than what I will write here and when I told TheBaku a month ago he didn’t believe me Yoshi could find someone who fit a very specific profile… Well his head will explode pretty soon!!!

I am so late on everything! I am not sure this will have a Part III yet.

Surreal Saturday: Part I

It’s a rambling journal entry!

Fell asleep quite late last night. I am obviously high on oxytocin and endorphins and it’s keeping me awake. But at least it’s productive and inspired awake. I have figured out many novel ways to execute a bunch of plans. And Lord knows I load myself with overly eccentric goals and plans. But I decided that in 2009 I am going to do a lot of cool stuff, from simple pleasures to seemingly impossible plots.

Sometimes I just need to have the guts to ask for what I want.

I had an eventful three days resulting in a LOT of things to process. All good things really. I had a plan to have lunch with Lloyd Jr., drinks with TheBaku and dinner with Bearded DiCaprio on Friday. That was overly ambitious and too last minute to pull off (okay maybe the fact that it was -75 didn’t help either.) I was however quite tickled that my sweetie made me dinner. He ALWAYS takes me out to dinner unless I make him something. Unfortunately the freezing and thawing of my toes during travel to Verdun gave me the worst migraine… so we skipped out on playing Rock Band.

While I was on my way to Bearded DiCaprio’s (I waited for the train 1 hour!) I suddenly started wondering what it would be like to live with Mr. P. It’s all pragmatic really, I am getting tired of paying a fortune for this huge house. House = Yeah. Rent = Bleh. So Saturday afternoon, of course, Mr. P goes all U-Haul on me. WTF?! But really it’s for the same pragmatic reasons as me. It’s more complicated than that. But we didn’t talk about it when we went out Saturday. He and I are very bad at communicating that we are friends. Everyone thinks we are a romantic couple. We are friends with benefits but we are not fuck friends. Are you confused also!? Then your confusion amuses us greatly. Mr. P and I get along swimmingly and he has passed my six month consideration process (the amount of time it takes me to develop trust and become attached to someone.) But then Mr P. listens to me talking to someone else and says: “I didn’t know you were looking for a husband?!” Duh! So we obviously have more discussions to have.

On Saturday I also ran into TheBaku. I was haaappeee to see him! I got interrogated AND lectured by him! Oh yes he did! After inquiring about who I was with at the party, he proceeded to share his opinion on my propensity to spend quality time with my exes. On top of that, this conversation happened after Mr. P purposefully malfunctioned my attire to embarrass me. I have to give it to him, TheBaku has character AND a sense of humor! I’ve been a fan what he does for a while and I am becoming a fan of who he is. But sincerely, there are already way too many people in my life with ADD!!! Maybe next time I see him I will be interrogated, lectured AND scolded LOL Progress is good in a relationship and he does it in a very sweet way! It would be very hard for me to pretend to be all demure and nice as he contacted me on a naughty website for perverts… a website that HE built! Hahahaha! It’s his fault I’ve rekindled my relationship with with Mr. P and met CJO and a become friends with a lot of other people who influence me to be naughtier! It ALSO emboldens me to totally objectify and fetishize him in the way I write and talk to him. Here’s what I see when I see TheBaku. Drooool. But he’s not blonde so kudos to him LOL I only fantasize about cooking dinner for him and taking latin dancing classes with him. That’s my story and I am sticking to it!

I think this is going to be a five part post… no really!

Crash All Over Again

When I saw Crash (Cronenberg) in 1997, I was repulsed. None of the characters made any sense to me and they had absolutely nothing endearing about them. I also don’t have a car fetish. I watch Top Gear for James May and the overall wit but I have always been afraid of cars, namely dying in a car crash. I have driven by myself only a few times. I’d love to learn how to drive for sports (rally) but driving for practical reasons leaves me cold. I am crap at it too.

I spent some time this weekend talking with Mr. P. about having un-natural experiences involving vehicles. He showed me the brace he wore for three months after being chewed up by a plane. Owies… I, on the other hand, was forcibly raped in the behind by a Mazda Protege (while pinned against my Chrysler Neon.) My freaky vehicular three way doesn’t beat flying into power lines… Mr. P is the only other person I’ve met who also has nerve damage and, having been bolted back together extensively, understands what that does. Oh and did I mention he’s a sadist!

I am officially a kinskter now and I am supposed to understand these things… I ALWAYS side with Ebert on everything but I didn’t in the case of Crash. But things make a bit more sense now. Crash was more interesting the second time around, in fact, I can say I had forgotten about most of the first part because the second part annoyed me so much! The characters are still somewhat cold and not that endearing. Yeah, super hottie James Spader manages to come off un-sexy most of the movie!

At least now, I can appreciate people who’s fetishes make little sense to me, just like, I am sure, some of my inclinations make no sense to others.

Everything meets somewhere…

For instance, the day before, I had written part of a story that has one character initiating sex while the other one is crying. Most readers would exclaim “No, that is the worst time to be initiating sex!” This was how I felt the first time I watched the very last scene of Crash!

To check another movie off my ‘to watch list’, I started watching Caligula a month ago. I gave up… Should I even bother to watch the whole thing? John Hurt plays Caligula in I, Claudius… I think that will be much better to watch (when I get to it.)

Je t’aime en PCV!


Just a little something to stick to your brain matter for the dayweek!

Earl Grey Tea and Marmelade Toasts

A while back I wrote on this blog that CJO is a bit like Mark Anthony. At the time it was because he had suggested we get together to shoot some slaves. This reminded me of one of the most obnoxious scenes in Rome (He has never watched Rome.) I figured he was saying this for the benefit of a certain slave who was within earshot. Personally I would rather not shoot at anyone. I’m not a sissy, I just think that the words ‘non lethal’ in the name of certain ammo is marketing bullshit. But give me a paint gun and I may change my mind; I’ll just make sure the sniper is on MY team!!!

When I started watching Rome in October, I thought that having a household like Atia and Servillia would be cool. Obviously, I have no use for decorative slaves but I could definitely use a chauffeur and a butler. Just once in a while. Everybody in this neighborhood seems to know that I am the thrifty single mom. I don’t even have a car when most others have 2.5 trucks and 1.25 cars. I noticed that having handsome guys appear out of nowhere to rake my yard and shovel my snow attracts some attention and questions. So if my daughter ever started a phrase with “Our butler…” it might trigger more questions than I care to answer…

Just like Mark Anthony, my sweetie is a very good warrior. As long as it supports his long term goals in some way, he will likely do anything I ask. I have missions lined up into 2010 for him and some are NOT easy! I’m courting a veteran Dom by being a total Domina and he LIKES it. Raising (elevating) Dominants is my shtick! I make sure regularly that it’s okay for me to hit him with the ‘to do’ stick harder and harder as the deadlines get closer. When both parties are sincere and fully into it, Dominance and submission are the exact same thing. I may joke about it but I see my management of his current engagements and his overall career change as ‘service’ to him.

Because he KNOWS that my thing is to help him get what he wants he has been more open about a lot of things. I am considering him as a life partner so I want to know what he wants however lofty, capricious or eccentric it may be. It’s a test in itself because at his age he is supposed to know what he wants. One of the recurring themes that has come up is that he wants a household (with slaves.)

I’ve suspected this for a long time and I have nothing against the concept. I don’t think it looks the same in my head as it does in his though! I LOVE this kind of relationship talk! Using his logic of having slaves giving him more time to do the cool stuff he’d rather do (like gardening and sex.) I will gladly lay down a plan that includes him as my landscaping and sex slave!

The Urge To Socialize

I should have been completely giddy yesterday but I had a terrible migraine so I’ll be completely giddy today. I really want to go out and have silly and challenging conversations this week but I am broke-ish. Not that it costs anything to have silly or challenging conversations. Bearded DiCaprio is jonesing for a date. Can’t say no to him! I also REALLY want to have a mojito with TheBaku and, drum roll, catch up with LLoyd Jr!

I’ve been single for 6 weeks but I have already been ‘meat tagged’ for 8 weeks… I’ve always fancied a ‘Hot Southern Piece of Man Candy’ but the catch is that they don’t live in Montreal!

I HAVE to cultivate my platonic relationships else I’m going to have a really hard time getting used to a long-distance relationship!

Time to review the pros and cons of having more than one ‘Best Gay’.

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