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Month: October 2008

Wow, this writing this really works!

For the past month I have written way more personal things then I am used to. While in the past I pushed my opinions about the sex lives (or sexual issues) of others, I have been introspecting more.

I still read yesterday’s post and think: “why the fuck did I post that?!” but today I am really happy and joyful. And I feel loving and I want to do lovely and loving things today and this weekend.

But I will have to deal with the fact that way more people read this blog than I had previously thought…

Photo by linh.ngân

The Knight in Shining Armor

I had the most pleasant and fun dinner with my “General” last Friday. We have a very tight knit relationship however it is mostly conducted through daily phone and MSN and we rarely make actual plans to be together in person. I should never miss an opportunity to have lunch with him. I am so mad at myself for canceling out on him a few times in the past months.

I recently read a comment from someone who said I had not yet found my Knight in Shining Armor. I do not think I am looking for that though it is true I push a high standard with my little Manhood article (that article written for teens.) My closest friends and lovers, who are all grown adults, are beautifully imperfect but very self-aware, real and unfiltered. I like that because I am un-phased by the truth of human nature. I also dig tough guys. Tough is a state of mind. If I were to encounter a Knight in Shining Armor I would probably identify him as a poseur and keep walking.

Give me a Knight in a muddy armor with a gaping head wound and an arrow sticking out of his arm who, despite the fact that his horse is dead, walks back to my castle in a snow storm carrying the severed head of my enemy… And I’ll tap that.

The previous scenario is not a joke (except the severed head part.) I know men who just do stuff like that because that is who they are. They will take the long road of walking for a day to get somewhere because it is in itself an experience. It’s not just about being tough it’s about having a close relationship with their environment and cutting out the “modernity” middleman. That’s what happens when you walk for days, hunt/fish your own food and sleep in a ditch. This used to be commonplace for us humans until not too long ago. All these activities have been maligned as unsophisticated for decades. I personally feel sophistication comes from being happy with little and from being able to survive and enjoy a stay all by your lonesome in a shack without any modern conveniences. This is more of a monk’s lifestyle than a prisoner’s punishment. It’s also a character thing not a body-related thing. In fact the person whom I most admire for being the embodiment of this character has been completely paralyzed since birth. He is a genius and has been constant in his positive spirit for the 15+ years I have known him. I am not saying I could be that “sophisticated” but I work on it. I am finally ready to go along and explore the world around me in a less comfortable manner. Today I am without chronic pain and am probably the closest I have been to my healthy weight in 12 years. Next week, I will have my coureur des bois with me so we can explore the immense park next to my home (And I will have him rake the grounds, empty the gutters, trim all that garden stuff, etc.) I often wonder what it would take to actually wear him down and he is now in his fifties!?! He says he is going to bike to my place… If he takes “our street” all the way to Montreal it is 200 miles. We both grew up on the oldest ancestral road in North America in the exact spot where the Seigneur built his home (c.1637) (He was busted as a teen for breaking and entering that manor just before it was torn down to build the ugly-ass apartments where I spent a lot of my childhood.) I am encouraging him to do it by car though but I know my words are only suggestions…

There’s still the issues that will come up with my change in lifestyle and philosophy over the past 4-5 years. He is and will always be Titus Pullo and I am more Atia of the Julii. I am not the 18 year old girl he met 19 years ago LOL

After I agreed to spend some time with him I started to remember all the quirky annoying things he does like sleeping while holding on to me super tightly the whole night. But he tends to do things to excess. He knows and admits to this freely. I have to come up with more stuff to keep him busy…

Raising Your Own Manhood!

Here is another text I previously published in an unrelated place. This text is written for teenagers and young adults. Apparently this text scares the shit out of permadolescents! I write this from 20 years of experience in observing and talking with men.

This is my own blueprint for mentoring (or reforming as the case may be) and it has worked exceedingly well. Once you HAVE these for yourself you can take it to the next level in your own way.

The 3 pillars of Manhood

Originally published on May 28th, 2008. Updated for clarity.

I tend to evaluate all men based on three qualities. It took me a while to recognize, categorize and name them. For the past few years I have taught them. These qualities are not available in stores and they require effort and practice!

Most guys wait into their twenties before working on this. Don’t let another day go by without considering how cool it would be to reach manhood earlier than most guys. Today’s marketers of distractions count on the teen boy market to thrive therefore it is in their best interest to make sure you remain a teenager until you are 35.

Adolescence is a golden period where you can be sold anything and everything that should be free for the taking including fun and sex. The worst thing that could happen to marketers of distractions is for you to wake up and build a set of qualities and a character that freely attract attention, sex and life enjoyment to yourself without the need for expensive material accessories.

Sex is free but they get you on the accessories!
Miss Eva Vavoom

The three pillars of characters have been defined as follows by Miss Eva Vavoom, observer and reformer of young men.

  • Yumminess (Yum!),
  • Blow Job Worthiness (BJW),
  • Mad Skillz (MSz)

Yumminess is attractiveness as it is conveyed by yourself alone and not your car or clothes or any other artifice. Yumminess is best conveyed through self exploration, acceptance, confidence and a sincere disposition. To be yummy you should know who you are, have confidence in yourself and be real. You should protect your body from the ravages of cigarettes, alcohol and drugs and avoid public drunkenness or being photographed or videotaped doing unattractive things. You should never engage in victimizing others or putting them down through intimidation, bullying or violence be it verbal, written or physical. Taking a stance on this and letting it be known to others will help you build a huge set of brass balls and eventually net you much power in the world of adults. Become the one who is chased and devise your own set of eccentric rules from which you will choose mates and friends carefully. Reject the external yardsticks of success, you can do much better than that.

Blow Job Worthiness is a state best achieved by giving back to the community and the ones you love. Being keen, helpful and caring towards others is key to achieving this state of being. For years men have stepped on co-workers, gotten into publicly humiliating scandals and stolen for others in order to get the materials trappings that will hopefully net them the coveted blow job (or anything sexual.) Your goal is to place yourself in a position where you deserve a blow job from everyone eliminating the problems that come along with being so desperate for attention that you jump into bed with anybody that comes along. One thing is for sure is that BJW cannot be sold or bought with money but is available for free to anyone who understands the concept and applies the rules.

So if I ever tell you you are blow job worthy, I am really saying…


Napoleon Dynamite: Well, nobody’s going to go out with *me*!
Pedro: Have you asked anybody yet?
Napoleon Dynamite: No, but who would? I don’t even have any good skills.
Pedro: What do you mean?
Napoleon Dynamite: You know, like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills… Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.
Pedro: Aren’t you pretty good at drawing, like animals and warriors and stuff?
Napoleon Dynamite: Yes… probably the best that I know of.
Pedro: Just draw a picture of the girl you want to take out… and give it to her for like a gift or something.
Napoleon Dynamite: That’s a pretty good idea.
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

Mad skillz are usually acquired while following a passion. Whether you are great at piano, fixing things or are especially knowledgeable in science your mad skillz are a demonstration that you have enough ability and patience to pursue an idea into reality. Having skillz is a way of showing people that you are bright, self-directed and do not need the nagging of other to do things. One of the great evangelists of Mad Skillz is Timothy Ferriss, the guy who wrote the 4-hour-workweek book. He says that most skills, however complicated, can be developed over the course of a few dedicated month. Using this he has developed ultimate fighting skills, language skills and latin dancing skills that have net him a place in the Guinness Book of World Records. Now most adults work 40 hours a week leaving little time to develop mad skillz. As a teen, you have massive amounts of free time which you may already be using on distractions and entertainment. Now is your golden time to develop these skillz, so don’t waste it!

Work on these pillars and you will reach adulthood on your own terms.

Few of these ideas require money or the approval of your parents, just a very judicious use of your precious time as a teenager.

If I could harness the idle time of American teenagers between the ages of 13 and 23, I could certainly rule the World!
Miss Eva Vavoom’s plan for World Domination would likely be foiled by Tek Jansen

Remember, there is no external yardstick for success in these goals and any effort you make nets you a gain in your everyday life.

And while you are at it, here are the 4 pillars or Man Style

Porn Review: Reporting From The Frathouse

You know what I like to do? I like to hang out in places I am not supposed to. Sometimes it’s planned, sometimes not.

I remember back in 1990 my roomate worked in one of Quebec City’s few gay saunas. I had to go see him for some reason and stopped by his work. This 19 year old girl had to stand there for 15 minutes ‘inside a gay sauna’. At some point the manager walked by me and backed up. He said hi and physically moved me so that I could not be seen and said to me: “You know a lot of the guys here are married, they will freak out if they see a girl!” For a while I pondered why married men would hang out at gay saunas but my boyfriend Nicolas, who was a gorgeous 27 year-old intellectual bisexual separatist prostitute from Lac-Saint-Jean, explained it to me in great details.

Obviously I should not be hanging out in a gay sauna but what I found out later is that it’s less annoying than hanging out in a straight sauna.

I also get a kick out of hearing stuff I am not supposed to hear. I love to hear what guys say to each other when they forget that a woman is listening. I used to watch ‘The Man Show‘ and made a it a point to keep tabs on what guys like to watch.

A few months ago I was vedging on Bearded Dicaprio’s sofa on a Saturday afternoon. (That is my new nickname for BF#2. Even though there is a fine line between Dicaprio in a Beard and This, I can’t get enough of the beard.) We were watching his immense bachelor HD flat screen TV and flipping through all those cable channels and still there was nothing interesting on. I saw a glimpse of this show on Spike TV called “The Ultimate Fighter”. “Dumb-looking teenagers hitting each other in the face!” I exclamed. I was really curious about htis so I downloaded an episode the next week. Turns out it wasn’t teenagers I had just flipped channels when Matt Riddle was on and… well you catch my drift. So I started watching this show and got totally hooked.

At first I thought the guys were like nothing I’d ever seen or heard before… and then that sort of became why I liked it. Essentially they are also like guys I am unlinkely to run into, ever so it’s quite interesting.

Danta RiveraWatching guys bash each other’s face in with the intention to injure was a bit strange in the beginning. But when you think about it I’ve seen people, in person, cut, burn or pierce each other for sport or sexual gratification so to each his/her own. I still fast forward through the fights but enjoy the post-fight description and commentary.

Right now I am very frustrated with Junie Browning. What a punk! I would tell you what I would do to that guy to straighten him out but that would make Yoshi envious. For a while there I thought Junie would never make it to the fight but then again… he still has a bit of time to fuck it up. I have to admit I really like Roli Delgado so I am going to be rooting for him next week.

So I have put The Ultimate Fighter on my metaphorical porn shelf along with The Tudors (and Rome but you’ll have to wait for that porn review.)

So here are my Top Ten reasons to watch The Ultimate Fighter

  1. Matt Hughes smiling (or not…) and that recurring shot going up his poster in the training center. Nice chest hair Matt!
  2. Nathan Diaz flipping out because he doesn’t get the the actual non-gay meaning of “suck it”
  3. Forrest Griffin saying: “Gimme all the ugly guys!”
  4. Nice arms and hands.
  5. The bio bits before the fight.
  6. Perving Dante Rivera, Gray Maynard and Keith Jardine.
  7. Watching guys who should know better drink themselves into embarrassing situations, destroy rental properties, fight over stupid shit, say stuff they’ll regret and pee on each other’s bed.
  8. Rooting for the nerds like Joe Lauzon and Luke Cummo (I mean that as a compliment.)
  9. The over-the top body art.
  10. Guys crying. I dig that.

In closing I must say that Dana White uses the work ‘Fuck’ way too much… Dude it’s not really a verb nore an adjective. Only one free ‘fuck*’ per segment… else it makes you sound dim. But that’s just an opinion from a chick your age.

On Intellecutal Orgasms

Oh Stephen you made me blush with your show on Monday night… many times. And now that I have a laptop in my comfy bed, I can write down what I think without freezing my ass on a plastic chair. Which explains my recent long posts.

Do you know what Stephen Colbert does? He interviews serious guests in his blowhard conservative pundit character. He also talks directly to his viewer which can sometimes be freaky. On my birthday Stephen said that if I was a 35 y.o. woman today, my chances of finding a man were nonexistent… Hmmm, that was a really strange coincidence.

By now his guests know what he is going to do to them. There is one video of Stephen out there showing him interacting with John Kerry pre-interview however, it has never been clear how his guests are prepared.

Both Stewart and Colbert have high quality guests on. Many are unassuming and geeky authors who probably don’t have to put up with such a character on a regular basis. What I have figured out is that he will ask one question to let his guest “plug the product” but after that the gloves come off and the rest is an unexpected avalanche of rhetoric and twisted logic. His guest are left to fend for themselves. Some give him all the room and some manage to get a word in edgewise. They are unlikely to shut him up but it has happened.

I am most entertained when Stephen has women guests on. On Monday he had TWO female guests: Kathleen Parker, a syndicated columnist and Bethany McLean, author of “The Smartest Guys in the Room”.

McLean was absolutely delightful as she brought really serious issues to the table. She managed to get a lot of good points out even though Stephen was like a pittbull with her! I have absolutely no idea what went through her mind but I had the feeling I could see her heart miss a beat a few times… By the end she seemed upset in a “what the fuck just happened?” kind of way and as the camera went wide and faded Stephen seemed to notice and immediately grabbed her hand to do the aftercare!

Parker, who was the featured guest, seemed to enjoy her “conversation” with Stephen… and by that I mean “really enjoy it” the way I would… This episode is available online (Oct. 13, 2008) and I don’t want to read too much into the body language of people who will Google themselves to find that I have put their serious interview into a kinky context. Some people are quite masterful at putting serious politics into a kinky context (Dana Gould, 8mins+)

I can tell you what Stephen Colbert does to me though! One cannot expect what Stephen is going to say next and that is really exciting. He will bring something to the table and commit to it in a powerful way. He can completely overpower a conversation with gems of irony that make heads of state explode (pun intended.) Stephen has a huge set of brass balls and he is very proud of them. When Stephen speaks I cannot help but listen to everything he says and then try to dissect the layers of comedy and irony that he and his writers pack-in so tightly. Stephen has the best writers (with Emmy and Peabody to support that) but he must be praised highly for his delivery.

I am guilty of trying to drive conversations like Stephen and when my friends bite, it’s all sorts of fun… but I want to be on the receiving end of that conversation!

Something really awesome happened to me a few weeks ago and I am still giddy about it. Mr. M. and I were chatting through Skype and for some reason my mute button became activated. While I could hear him, he could not hear me but I assume he could see me. So as I was looking for which of the 3 ways the mute could be on he proceeded to verbally assault me for a few minutes. I was really impressed with how he berated me (incessantly and in a funny way.) I guess I could have been upset but instead, it tickled me in a very naughty way. He was essentially giving me a verbal spanking making it impossible to find what I was looking for. He made me giggly, shocked and excited but could not hear the results of his effect on me as my mute button was still on. I truly hope he saw me laughing and withering!

I have gotten into trouble with Mr. M. for assuming that what he does is deliberate and planned… Does he improvise or is he premeditated? I wonder this because I know I can be very premeditated as I spend a lot of time thinking about how I can steer conversations toward absurd comedy or make someone laugh. There is an enormous amount of intent in me and I am becoming more comfortable telling the world that I am not the wallflower I sometimes pretend to be.

I am not evil but I wish I was and I was able to play that character officially in a gamers magazine interview a few months ago. This interview was unanimously defined as hilarious. Moreover, the reaction male readers had was exactly on mark, they were shocked and scared of me, the evil dominatrix bent on taking over the world! I can’t ask for anything more!!!

Mr. M. can be Machiavellian in the way he puts forward his ideas and perhaps does not realize the exciting and awesome evil villain he brings to the table. This is but one of his Mad Skillz. He is a Valmont, but unlike the cruel ways in which the Vicomte has been portrayed (and I have avidly eaten all iterations), Mr. M. seemed to come along with a promise to reveal the humanity behind the man who corrupted Cecile and destroyed Madame de Tourvel. Are you seeing a theme here? What is improvised and what is premediated? Is it “I couldn’t help myslef” or “I actually meant to do that”? I know he is not evil but he is so good at the craft as he commits to it in very powerful way. While I admit that I did get drunk on this experience I retained a lot of my petulant self. Perhaps I hoped that Mr. M. would be a formidable opponent. I saw him as superior to me! In many ways, he was going to be the most fun and challenging person to lose to. At least I hoped he would win. However, when I clearly needed to be put in my place, he chose not to… so as not to be hurtful…

There is a duality in that… While being called on what I did or said could be construed as a bad experience, for me it is an enlightening experience. It is not just about being disciplined for doing something wrong but it’s also about realizing the exact consequences of my actions by hearing it from him, learning from that and hopefully reveling in how masterfully the lecture or correction is delivered. Sure the correction could be delivered constructively but also with a wide variety of emotions like anger, disdain, coldness, etc. but it is what it is and unfortunately it is not something I get to experience in play and too rarely in life.

Almost ten years ago I began a working relationship with a man who was loud, grumpy and impulsive. He even had a reputation for making people cry but I later learned that those people were easy cryers. He had one quality that I had never encountered in someone else: he could have a shouting match with me and never step out of line or bring the conversation down with irrelevant stuff. At first it was surprising! I don’t yell but I won my points enough times that he eventually handed over the keys to the castle. So I won… or did I? Because dealing with him so intensely on a daily basis made me feel really happy, excited and alive. It was awesome fuel. Today, we are attached to each other in blissful way… His love, acceptance and encouragement has effectively fueled my ability to deal with really hard situations and challenges. We don’t fight anymore. We seems to agree on everything. We seem to understand and trust each other fully.

I can honestly say that it is where I had wished to go with Mr. M. so I gave him the opportunity to define a place for me that I agreed with (check!) and then put me into it officially an masterfully. I know it’s a huge expectation. I am a dominant person (a survivalist) which seems at odds with the developing dynamics between Mr. M. and I but the “negotiation” process I am referring to is just that… a back and forth planning process that can come across as un-romantic. For me, it’s really exciting, because I like procedures. Also, it is what I learned from my Lady and from Midori over the years. It is the only way that I know to get to SSC or RACK. However, it comes from a very clinical BDSM framework and it killed the magical meeting of the minds that originally happened between us.


A rare journal entry…

This is one of those rare journal entries recounting my Saturday…

My day started with an e-mail from Mr. M essentially putting an end to the relationship we had started to build. I was anxiously expecting this message and it brought the closure that I needed. Mr. M. and I started off swimmingly. I have never encountered someone who came on to me so strong initially. Normally I would have brushed him off but I really liked him. And he was so non-generic in everything we talked about that he became a great source of inspiration. I can’t say I fantasize about random guys. What others call fantasizing, I call “planning”. Really, I have no use for fantasies that cannot come true so my fantasies are “50% Naughty activities/50% Strategy to make it happen”. So basically there is no fodder for planning naughty adventures with someone who is not available to me. But during the week that Mr. M. communicated to me very clearly that he was in my future, I had a lot of planning fun. But now that is over because I drove him nuts with my scrutinizing. People are not perfect and it is actually their mix of imperfection that makes them unique and real. I knew what I liked and didn’t like and I was still quite enamored with him nonetheless. So even though I was looking forward to a decisive missive from him, I was sad that it didn’t work out. So I can’t “plan” anything with him anymore but I will continue to ponder the ideas and topics that he brought up… he openned up a nice can of worms!

While my Saturday started off sad it got better. For the past 3 weeks my ex-husband has been engrossed in the process of organizing our daughter’s birthday party. He has been communicating with me about it on a regular basis. In the end the only thing I did was make the invitations and the punch. Last spring I realized that there is nothing that give me greater joy than doing parenting things with my baby-daddy. We seperated 4 1/2 years ago and have continued to celebrate Christmas together as well as other activities here and there. However, our daughter is entering into the tweens and have made a renewed commitment to share notes and work together. We are like regular parents who pass along the primary care therefore there is never a question as to who is in charge and who says: “Don’t talk to your mother/father like that!” We both come from divorced households with parents who verbally loathed each other for years. Can you think of a better method to kill your child’s soul!? So we spent the day together with 9 kids running around and at one point he looked at me smiling and said; “Aren’t you glad we have a daughter?” That is a loaded question but I just said yes. So basically my ex managed to turn Saturday into Mother’s Day at my house which I haven’t really celebrated in years. He was in a super good mood, smiled profusely and made geeky small talk. This is good as he is often grumpy which is not attractive. I will assume he is not grumpy because he has a girlfriend and leave it at that. He seemed really happy when I thanked him, I got a hug and was inspired to request something from him. Really, it is a very simple request but vague… So within 6 weeks I will find out if he grants it, and if so, how.

A caveat of my day Saturday is that I somehow managed to put my back out by simply squatting down to take pictures of the kids. I was so much in pain that for 8 hours I had nausea. I feared food poisonning but then got really hungry. Plus it was the first day of my periods so I had cramps… The whole stack of feelings was utterly overbearing but I managed to keep supervising the kids and kept a bucket close by. In my book, only kids are allowed to throw up at birthday parties so I was self-concious!

After dinner I checked my e-mails and got a nice note from my friend Chuck (was my bf in 1989) He has now started his second pilgrimage to New-Brunswick on foot. He started that last year leaving Quebec City only to get injured within 48 hours so it is now done “sur le pouce”. Chuck goes to Moncton to spend a few hours with his daughter. He has been getting the shitty end of the stick for 12 years when it comes to seeing her. To make matters worse, as soon as his daughter became old enough to decide where she would like to spend her time, her mother moved her to another province. This whole bitter and creepy parental denial thing moms do should be considered a crime. Chuck is a pretty tough guy who has worked as a tour guide, ski instructor and wind surfing instructor for almost 40 years. He once drove a beat-up lemon in a snow storm to come to Montreal to have dinner with me… he had just had a bad mountain bike accident and had metal rods poking out of his hand. Serious, I didn’t even know that when we made plans! He drove back in the same snow storm with only one working hand… Even though he is over 50 now and recently got his MBA, he is still an adventurer at heart. It’s always been easy for me to see him as a travelling partner in the future but that future keeps eluding me because I have responsabilities here. I will make official arrangements to spend a bit of time with him. Last time I got more than 90 minutes (in between connections) with him was 3 years ago already. Time flies!

After dinner, Yoshi asked how I was doing and I mentionned the unsurmountable pain and he offered to come over and give me a massage. My cat also offered me a massage but I refused. He has professional strength claws. So Yoshi worked his magic on me and I was quickly feeling better. He asked me why I was sad and told him I got my e-mail from Mr. M. and had mixed feelings about it. Now, I haven’t had sex in weeks and perhaps only once in the past month but what I missed most was affection… and by that I don’t mean I missed getting affection but giving it. So Yoshi and I cuddled and I stroked his hair for a while. We wound up reminiscing about the worst week ever which was exactly two years ago. It was the perfect storm of catastrophies and while none of it was my fault, I was stuck in triage for two weeks. And then everything fell back into place perfectly and it all hinged on my executive decision to send Yoshi’s mom to a homeless shelter (she was evicted from her place.) Yoshi and I chuckled that by doing this I effectively bought his mom a two-month vacation. She was so happy being on her own and spent her two months is a semi-private room. It was a really nice shelter… For 19 years she had one or two boys to care for on her own, mostly on welfare, almost always depressed and suddenly… no more! She was a different person. For the time being, I was the one who had two teenagers wrestling around my living room but that was super easy to manage compared to managing a 50 y.o. teenager. Now Yoshi is the one who cares for them on a daily basis. He has way more on his plate than I do but he makes it a point to care for me on a quasi-daily basis. However, I feel he has to move on. I am 16 years older than he is and eager to find someone my own age to be with (I have been harping on about this for a while…) So recently, when I told him I needed time to sort out things with Mr M. he changed his Facebook status to Single! When he left, he told me he was very happy. He wrote me a long e-mail Sunday morning elaborating on what we talked about and on his plans. I really love it when he does that. It’s an insight into his progress. For two years, our relationship has been rooted in a BDSM model. We have a mentor/student relationship (not a master/slave relatioship. Duh!) Seems to me that this is a relationship that must include a “graduation” at some point and I think he is ready. He is attached to me and I am attached to him too but it is an important step for me. I don’t want to dump him, I want him to move on to the next step in his life! I can see us in the future continuing our friendship (like Chuck and I have over almost 20 years) while we are both with more similar partners. This is aaaakwaaaard… but then again it has to be talked about, prepared and executed. To people around me, I am the woman who has a super cute 21-year-old lover… that may make some women giggle but with guys it’s a totally different issue. Men I talk to casually have no insight into my absolute adoration of guys 35-40. The fact that I have been with someone so much younger for so long gives the wrong impression about the type of person I see myself with in the long run. I am someone who likes goals and steps and I don’t want to rush through this step while I am also developing a relationship with someone else so I want us to work through this in the short term.

So I fell asleep Saturday night perhaps planning Yoshi’s graduation party 🙂

Yes, Lady Viktoria is pretty amazing with the floggers

It’s great to read alternative lifestyle pieces in mainstream newspapers. This article about the Everything to do with Sex Show in Toronto (Oct. 24-26) features my friend, Lady Viktoria. Still undecided on whether I should go or not…

Vavoomcyclopedia: Funeral

Funeral: The only family social gathering one does not have to pretend to enjoy.


I have looked through my writings to bring you certain things that have not been published yet, or republishing certain things that found themselves burried under a pile of unrelated material. This new encyclopedia runs from the phylosophical to the absurd…

This article was written on June 18, 2008 and it is aimed at teenagers.

yard·stick (yärdstk)

We explore here the yardstick by which all success is calculated in modern North American society.

Yardstick: a criterion, a standard for making a critical judgment.

Unlike the party game of limbo where the stick keeps going down as the contest continues the yardstick that measures the success competition keeps going up. In such a contest, nobody is eliminated and people continue to work really hard and consume their way to projecting an image of success through their appearance and material possessions.

After 9/11 Georges Bush told American to keep going on with their lives so that the American Dream must live on. Hanging by the seat of his pants, he was able to push back the current economical turmoil almost 7 years. Americans continue to consume their way to catastrophe as the bloated U.S. economy cannot survive without manic consumerism of useless crap made in China.

The Gross U.S. National Debt

As a teen you must accept that you have no control over this stick and you are in no way obligated to reach it. In fact it will probably start falling again very soon as the new successful people become those who have less but more importantly owe nothing.

When I was in 7th grade my biology teacher said that everyone is born with a purpose, whether it is to go to the moon or invent a new cake recipe. I was 13 and that concept seemed simple enough to grasp.

My ex husband’s yardstick for success was purchasing a Ferrari before he was 40. Loathed by our daughter and his girlfriend for being noisy, uncomfortable and stinky, he drove his vintage Ferrari all the way to his High School reunion. It is now officially for sale. I am curious as to what the next yardstick for success will be 🙂

Success today is closely linked to fame and fortune, which are two other marketable concepts that, on their own, mean absolutely nothing.

Define where your yardstick is and feel perfectly comfortable with moving it yourself as you grow older and your goals evolve. Don’t ever let other define your success (or lack thereof) based on external things such as your car, your house or your clothes.

A great book to read is Your Money or Your Life.

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